Ways to maintain your insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

6. In the Memo field of all your cheques, write "For Smuggling
Diamonds"

7.
Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, Skip rather than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious
face.

11. Specify that your Drive-through order is "To Go."

12. Sing along at the Opera.

13. Go to a Poetry Recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical
sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your friends address you by your wresttling name "Rock Bottom."

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I Won!, I
Won!"

18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the Economy, we are
going to have to let one of you go."